annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary
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Good Things
The clocks went back last night so although it's only 11pm, it feels much later. Also I've walked five miles today, at least two of them while pushing ED in her chair, another one of them on the shingle beach which is heavy going, and I feel very knotted up inside about going to the police tomorrow. So that's a nice introductory moan.
I said I'd come back tonight and list the good things that have happened in the last week, but before I do I realised I forgot at least one other thing that did my head in. I'd been dragging myself through the week, thinking I just need to get to Friday art group at the recovery centre, an oasis of peace with lovely C, who is very calming and supportive, and all would be well. But when I arrived, there was fucking mayhem of a Halloween themed nature, loads of noise, loads of people and no C, who was on leave. Honestly, I was so shocked and disappointed, I cried like a fucking baby, standing in the doorway with my art bag falling open off my arm, spilling paper and rubbish all over the floor. I ended up on my own in a side room, doing a Matisse copy that I've done before, unable to shift things around in my brain to accept changing circumstances. Sigh. 
But. Good things:
- My friend M, who has survived chemo and is looking good, brought her three grandchildren (ages 3, 5 and 8), round for an art session. I had intended to do some pumpkin themed tomfoolery but I remembered just in time that I hate Halloween and that I am fragile as fuck so likely to lose it if things went wrong. I changed it to the book-making workshop I do at Glasto, which I can do with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back. Result! They loved it, all four of them. M made a book she was dead pleased with and the kids were over the moon with theirs. Apparently the 5 year old wrote down the instructions for making the books in hers, so she'd be able to make more whenever she felt like it.
- I made it to singing group on Weds as dancing was off. I sang, loudly and enthusiastically but probably not tunefully. When it was my turn, I picked Moon River - I love "two drifters, off to see the world... " I did have to leave early as songs kept making me cry about ED - popular music is full of loss, isn't it?
- I decoupaged name thingies for my sister's twins who were thirty this week - for fuck's sake, thirty! How did that happen? It wasn't until the last two letters of nephew's name that I remembered the best way to do it, so they were scruffier than I would have liked but I did them, I made presents.
- I almost made a dress, from scratch at the last sewing class.
All I have left to do is the edges - the hem, the ends of the sleeves and the neck. That last is tricky as it's too wide, can't bear a warm dress that lets in the drafts, though the teacher said, Oh yes, we can blah blah blah and it'll be fine. Can't remember what. And it's not any old dress, it's green crushed velvet, proper back to my youth fabric. Though back then I would have made a floor length droopy skirt.
Puppy:
11:48 p.m. - 29.10.17
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