annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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Kindness

Having been quite mean recently, I started doing the Headspace meditation series on kindness. They're a bunch of fuckers though - nothing is as it seems - when I did that stuff on acceptance, hoping to come to better terms with ED's situation, it had me thinking about what I resist, which is obviously Bloke and this fucking village I live in. Now, when I try to learn how to be kinder, it makes me start with me. Meh. But I'm trying.

It's about finding a balance between my physical and mental well-being. Both pretty crap but my body will heal itself whereas my mind will unravel completely if I don't pay attention, so I'm focusing on that. I got myself into a big stress about what I can't do, but actually that comes down to just yoga. I was unable to drive for a while, as changing gear pulled at the damaged muscles, but I can do that now and I can walk as the knee is a lot better. I find myself surprised at how quickly and easily I fell into negativity - I felt as if all my recovery tactics had been removed, but it is just yoga. That's a big loss, but it will only be for a few weeks.

And art, I'm back to doing lots of art. At the moment it's all about YD - I went to the great art supplies place and picked up some sketch books for 50p each - good quality paper, but seconds as they had badly printed covers. I collaged the covers - a bit random, but I hope she'll like them.

IMG_9212

 

I'm also making progress on the big piece for her - this is just some of the stuff laid out on the canvas

IMG_9247

as I was getting a feel for what I have.

That's all for now, late again, how late.

I am grateful for: free art materials from the beach; going to the recovery centre and hanging out with my pals C and G; Bloke visiting ED as I am unable to do so due to being overwhelmed with sorrow; painkillers; walking in the walled garden and planning to grow a rambling rose up a frame across the garden - not very clear from this pic but you wait till you see how fab it will be!

IMG_9230

 

Sleep tight xx

ps thanks marywa - cool! You don't have your notes turned on so I couldn't comment directly x

12:44 a.m. - 22.04.17

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